


You Have Me

by wizardofahz



Series: Marvel Cinematic Superverse [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 17:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7810924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wizardofahz/pseuds/wizardofahz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“This is really rich coming from you, you know?” Alex snaps. She’s had enough of being powerless. She’s not going to let Maria stand there and have the upper hand merely by staring at her. “We said we’d always be there for each other, so where the hell were you? Why weren’t you there? Oh, that’s right. We haven’t seen or talked to each other in <em>years</em> because, when you were the one in my shoes, you shut everyone out. You shut <em>me</em> out. I tried. I tried so hard to help, but you ran away. You <em>ran away</em>, and now you show up acting like I can depend on you. Unbelievable.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Have Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on a tumblr post of angsty prompts and written for archaeomedic.

Alex groans. She presses her face into the sofa and squeezes the pillow to her ear as the incessant knocking continues. It’s way too early for this nonsense. It’s… Okay, she doesn’t know what time it is, but that doesn’t matter. Even if it’s noon, it’s still too early to be woken up by this banging.

She might be inclined to open the door if it were Kara, but it’s not. She knows this because if it were Kara she’d have heard “Alex, I know you’re in there. I can see you” by now.

It’s not until she hears something scratching at the lock that she stumbles toward the door, gun in hand, swinging it open wide to reveal Maria hunched over with her lock picking tools. 

“Hi.”

Alex stares at the unexpected sight. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Maria brushes past her with a breezy, “Nice to see you too, Alex.”

Alex scoffs with indignation. “You have a lot of nerve coming around here.”

Maria ignores her. She’s too consumed in taking in all the alcohol bottles strewn across the apartment. “Damn, Alex. How much have you been drinking?”

“What’s it matter to you? I don’t even know why you pretend to care,” Alex retorts snidely.

Maria looks at her for a beat. Then she says, “Let me get you some water.”

Alex jumps in front of her. “I’ll get it myself.”

Maria doesn’t hear running water, but when she walks into the kitchen, Alex’s glass is full of a clear liquid. “That isn’t water in that glass, is it?” 

Maria doesn’t wait for a response. She plucks the glass right out of Alex’s hand before she can take a sip. She replaces the vodka with water and hands the glass back to Alex.

“But I need a drink to deal with you,” Alex grumbles but accepts the glass anyway. 

As Alex takes a sip, Maria leans against the counter, making herself comfortable as she watches Alex.

“Stop staring at me.” 

But Maria’s eyes don’t move. She doesn’t even blink.

“Maria,” Alex warns with a low growl.

“You know what’ll make me stop.”

Talking. Maria means talking. Not a chance in hell.

“I’d rather you keep staring at me.”

“Okay.”

On a normal day, Alex would be perfectly happy to wait Maria out, but her hands are shaky, and the trembling glass is making that obvious. It’s a result of drinking a lot more than she’s been eating. That’s her excuse anyway. The truth is that she hasn’t been able to stop shaking since she got out of  _ that place _ .

“This is really rich coming from you, you know?” Alex snaps. She’s had enough of being powerless. She’s not going to let Maria stand there and have the upper hand merely by staring at her. “We said we’d always be there for each other, so where the hell were you? Why weren’t you there? Oh, that’s right. We haven’t seen or talked to each other in  _ years _ because, when you were the one in my shoes, you shut everyone out. You shut  _ me  _ out. I tried. I tried so hard to help, but you ran away. You  _ ran away _ , and now you show up acting like I can depend on you. Unbelievable.” 

Maria doesn’t flinch, but Alex knows her words hurt.

A part of Alex, the selfless part that’s being crushed by the all the pain and anxiety, wants to say, “I’m hurting you too much. You should leave.”

Those words don’t make it out of her mouth. Maybe she doesn’t want Maria to leave.

“Exactly,” Maria replies lightly. “Since when have I become your role model?”

Alex snorts, a mixture of amusement and indignation. “So what now? Are you going to tell me you were wrong? That shutting people out doesn’t help? That the thing I need is to let myself depend on a good support system?”

Her words are laced with sarcasm, but Maria shrugs it off. “I’ve heard talking to people helps. Have you tried talking to your sister?” 

“I can’t. I can’t do that to her,” Alex says, vehemently shaking her head.  

The movement brings forward the headache that’s been lingering in the back of her mind. Her eyes slam shut as the world swims in front of her. She stumbles and feels Maria’s hands steady her as she slides to the floor.

Like the shaking, her headache has been a constant presence since the experiments, which involved draining an alarming amount of cerebrospinal fluid. If she drinks enough, she can dull the pain, and when it flares back up in the morning, she can pass it off as part of a hangover. Then she drinks, and the cycle starts all over again.

Not that she ever intends to tell Kara any of that.

The only reason she’d been a subject of Project Cadmus was because she traded herself for Kara. Kara had been captured during the search and rescue mission for Jeremiah, and the Project Cadmus officials had quickly offered a trade: Alex for Kara. 

They had plenty of Kryptonians to work with. Project Cadmus had retrieved the Fort Rozz Kryptonians from space, extracted them from their sleeping pods and revived them for testing. But humans deemed traitorous enough to be stripped of their human rights were in short supply. Qualifying humans who shared genetic markers were in even shorter supply. They had done extensive research on Jeremiah. Getting his daughter was the natural next step. 

And to Alex, there was never a question or second thought about the right decision. 

Project Cadmus had quickly relocated after acquiring Alex. It took Kara, J’onn, and Lucy four and a half months for them to find and rescue Alex. Four and a half months of injections, tissue and fluid extractions, and tests that made her want to curl up into a ball and fade from existence. 

Alex knows Kara already blames herself for what happened. She doesn’t want Kara to blame herself more than she already does.

Alex is brought back to the present by Maria’s gentle touch. When she opens her eyes, Maria is crouched in front of her. Maria places a couple of pain pills in one of Alex’s hands and a glass of water in the other.

“Take these.”

With the pounding in her ears, Alex hadn’t even heard Maria rummage around.

She does as Maria says and is then handed a cereal bar. Food is the last thing she wants, but she forces it down. She’s not supposed to take the the pills on an empty stomach. It occurs to her that she doesn’t remember having cereal bars in her apartment, which means Maria brought it with her. The lack of confidence in her. Honestly. 

Maria settles down on the floor across from her, content with the silence, as Alex nibbles away at her breakfast. 

After her headache abates to a more manageable level, Alex says, “You know what the good part about being alone is?” Maria tilts her head, silently inviting an answer. “I don’t wake anyone up when I start screaming at night. Is that why you shut me out?”

Maria subconsciously rubs the back her neck where the mind-control disk had been inserted. “I left because I didn’t know any other way.”

“So why can’t you let me have that?”

“Because you’re not me,” Maria responds as if the answer is obvious. “I’ve never had anyone to depend on, and I’ve never had anyone depend on me. If I dig myself into a hole, I’m the only one stuck in it. But if you dig a hole, your sister will jump in to help you out. Your friends and family will too. And then you’ll dig deeper because you feel bad for pulling them in. You’ll dig deeper and deeper, and you’ll pull them along with you because they’re never going to let you go. You’ll watch as the soil crumbles around them as much as it does around you, and you’ll hate yourself for it. I’m not going to stand by and watch you destroy yourself.”

“Too late,” Alex mutters. She already feels six feet under.

“It’s never too late.”

“Stop. Just…stop.” Maria and generic words of hope are a bit too incongruous an image to sit right with Alex. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you’re just making this worse.”

“I’m only trying to help,” Maria responds apologetically.

“I don’t want help,” Alex says, exhaustion giving way to honest words. “I just want the pain to stop.”

Maria gives her a sad smile. “It doesn’t work like that. I know that. You know that.”

Alex does know that. Recovery is not a step function, but she sure wishes it was. “And yet we still fight it.”

“We’re stubborn like that.” Maria’s phone buzzes. “Damn. I have to go,” she says after reading the message. “Are you going to be okay?”

“That’s a loaded question,” Alex quips.

“I meant—”

“I know what you meant, but what are you going to do if I say no? Let the world burn to babysit me? Don’t let me be your fiddle, Nero.”

“Technically it would’ve been a lyre. Fiddles weren’t invented until—”

“Oh for goodness sake, Maria.” Alex kicks out a leg and easily hits her target. “Get out of here.”

Maria eyes her carefully, searching for a reason to stay. Apparently satisfied, Maria gets to her feet. “Call me if you need anything.”

Alex holds out a hand, and Maria helps her up. 

“I don’t have your number anymore,” Alex says.

Maria sends her a quick text. “You do now. I’m serious, Alex. I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the night, call me if you need anything. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Alex nods noncommittally. She wishes she could take Maria’s words at face value, but there’s always some crisis in the world that’s more pressing than her own petty problems.

She watches as Maria makes her way to the front door. “You had me,” Alex blurts suddenly. Maria turns back to look at her, confused. “You said you never had anyone, but you had me.”

Maria nods, shallow and slow. “And you have me. How do you think the DEO knew where to find you?”


End file.
